Yorkshireisms

It’s only as I’ve got older and seen the uncomprehending looks on my friends faces that I've realised how local some of the sayings were that we used at home. Yorkshire sayings, like Yorkshire people tend to be very apt, blunt and with a dry sense of humour. Here’s a selection. I can’t guarantee these are the exclusive preserve of Yorkshire and a few may have crept in via my relatives from ‘t’other side o’ t’hill’!

Health

Not surprisingly I can't think of any euphemisms for 'absolutely smashing, thank you' but quite a few expressing the reverse! A suitably non-commital reply to enquiries would be 'Fair to middlin''. ‘'Ee looks lahk death warmed up’  would suggest something a little worse, whilst ‘Ee’s popped ‘is clogs’ means that he’s died. Apparently expression comes from when a mill-workers wife would pawn his clogs after his death.

Intellect
Yorkshiremen are not know for being over-generous with complements and you are more likely to find sayings concerning the want of brains rather than the reverse.
 

Thick as two short planks	Very stupid
Daft as a brush	Ditto
He’s so sharp, he’ll cut ‘imself	He’s being a clever-dick
Listen who’s  been in t’knife-box!	Put down to a clever-dick
Not ser green as cabbage-lookin’	She has more brains than would be suggested by appearances

 

Money

Money is a matter reputed to be very close to a Yorkshireman's heart, so not surprisingly there are a lot of witty sayings to do with money. The most famous is the ditty 'Hear all, see all, say nowt; Eat all, drink all, pay nowt; And if tha does owt for nowt, do it for thisen.'

Others include:

She’s got money to cobble dogs	She’s very rich (can afford to throw money at dogs)
You’re cheaper to keep for a week than a fortnight!	To someone who eats a lot/has expensive tastes
They haven’t got tuppence to rub together	They are very poor
More brass than brains	More money than sense
She looks like she’s lost a pound and found a shillin’	She doesn’t know whether to be happy or sad
Where there’s muck there’s brass

Food

We like to eat well in Yorkshire, so lets have none of that minuscule, pretentious, art-on-a plate nonsense!

‘All clout and no dinner’	From the era when working men took a meal wrapped in a cloth to work. An expression for a disappointing item which is all packaging and nothing inside
Yer could put it in yer eye corner and see no worse!	Derogatory remark about the size of the item
It’s like feeding elephants comfits	Something which comes in stupidly small pieces
Neither nowt ner summat	Mediocre
Hard as the old lad	Very hard
Burnt to snicksnarls	Done to a cinder